A Healthy Sex Drive

Do you have a healthy sex drive? How to control your sex drive? Sexual impulse is a type of attraction that people feel towards other people, whether they are of the same sex or not. Almost all definitions of sexual drive refer to an instinctive action that incites the person towards sexual behavior. It is determined by a series of biological, psychological and social factors.


The sexual impulse, along with the instinct of conservation, directs the sexual life of men and women, which arises as a response to a need to satisfy: sex.

This impulse is a type of attraction that people feel towards other people, whether they are of the same sex or not, which is determined by a series of biological, psychological and social factors.

The hormones that fire in the brain constitute the “base” of the impulse. Congestion or vasodilation or blood flow to the pelvis that makes a erection possible, and lubrication in women.

From the primary need, in which two people are involved, a reciprocity arises, giving and receiving. Then, the impulse has as an aim the search of couple and it has evolved of different form: of sexual life, to the romantic love and affection.

Where does the impulse start?

The claim that the sexual impulse is born “is prepared”, “triggered” in the brain, by stimuli that can be born in the person, such as fantasies, or by external stimuli, such as the vision of a woman, is indisputable today. Beautiful or an attractive man; a series of changes are produced in the brain by the release of chemical substances that condition and trigger sexual desire, and that lead to the materialization of what we call sexual impulse.

It is in the brain where sexual desire is generated. The hormones that are triggered constitute the “base” of the impulse. Congestion or vasodilation or blood flow to the pelvis is what makes erection possible in men, and lubrication in women. The congestion of the genitals, is the final destination of all this functional process that we call sexual impulse.

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The systems and devices involved, in this impulse, are the central nervous system (CNS), specifically the brain and the hypothalamus, the endocrine system, with the production of hormones, modulating the functioning of the ovaries in women and the testes in the man and that they give tendency to the sexual impulse.

The factors, which produce or generate the sexual impulse, are all components of the body and are the same in both men and women, despite the difference of the genitalia.

Can we control it?

Even when the triggering of the sexual impulse is very cerebral-hormonal-motor, there are external modulating elements of that sexual impulse, such as the cofactors associated with education, values, religious beliefs, cultural customs. These and other cofactors contribute to the expression of the sexual impulse, inhibiting it in some cases or stoking it in others.

We must highlight the fact that even when the sexual impulse is undeniably a neurobiological event, the psychological elements are those that regulate its expression and therefore we are the ones who administer according to our will the way in which our sexual impulse is channeled socially.

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Is there a difference in the female and male sexual impulses?

Yes we can recognize differences between both sexes in terms of the manifestation of sexual desire, that is, in terms of the pace and manner of performing sexual practices.

Men, in general, can channel his desire into an individual or couple sexual manifestation in a very quick way and with no greater preamble than the sexual practice itself. However, the women habitually requires an affective sentimental environment where sexual behavior is located. It may happen that the man immediately and quickly prompts the woman to perform a sexual act, and it does not respond with the same urgency and interest; He may interpret this as a lack of sexual desire, when what really happens is a lack of coordination between the rhythms of sexual response.

In the male-female relationship, this difference must be adapted in the form of manifesting sexual behaviors so that both develop their sexual impulse, and that neither accuses the other of a lack of sexual desire or lack of love or affection.

What is the normal frequency in which we should feel it?

The intensity and frequency of appearance of the sexual impulse is highly variable between people and within each person, so it is unlikely to have a pattern of “normality”. A healthy woman and a healthy man should have a degree of sexual desire that, individually and in relation to their partner, they live as sufficient and rewarding. There is no universal level that determines what is “normal”, since we are fundamentally before a subjective question.

What happens when we do not feel desire?

It is important to differentiate a period of low intensity in the sexual impulse with a disorder of aversion to sex, which is a psychological disorder characterized by an irrational and paralyzing fear towards sexual behavior. This phobia permanently prevents the enjoyment of sexuality and requires timely psychological therapy to return the person to normal.

There are several indicators that could indicate that we are facing a stage of inhibited sexual desire. For example:

  • The absence of sexual fantasies.
  • Do not have thoughts about sexual issues.
  • Consider yourself not passionate, without physical and sexual attractiveness.
  • Avoid having sex, never start, reject the couple’s approaches, make excuses for not having sexual practices.
  • Do not enjoy sex, do not concentrate on them when practiced.
  • Consider them expendable in our life or in our relationship.
  • Have frequent disagreements with the couple regarding the degree of sexual desire or the frequency of relationships.

As a rule, the presence of obvious organic factors such as anemia, heart disease, tumors, substance use (whether these drugs are legal or illegal drugs) and some chromosomal diseases should be ruled out. That is why the assessment of a sexuality specialist who coordinates this process is essential. In the absence of factors of an organic nature, we go on to assess factors of a psychological nature, whether these conditions are learned, traumas, phobias, emotional conflicts (conscious or not), couple’s problems, and so on.

What happens when we feel too much desire?

In the case of very intense sexual impulse, it is also necessary to differentiate the possible organic and psychological components. Just to mention a few examples, it is necessary to assess the presence of frontal lobe disinhibition syndrome, dementia or hypomania. Similarly, hyperactive sexual impulse or sexual addiction has also been associated with factors of a psychological nature, in some cases nothing different from those present in any other addiction, in others it can be considered elements related to low self-esteem, difficulty to handle their affections in the face of the distances and closeness that any relationship involves where there is an emotional bond and the consequent anxiety that it generates is dynamic.

Perhaps when we speak of a very intense sexual impulse, the reader is surprised that we have not mentioned “nymphomania”. Nowadays the term nymphomania has been put into disuse and has been replaced by the term “sexual addiction” or “erotomania”. The nymphomania that has been defined as “… an exaggerated and compulsive sexual impulse in women …”, was a concept applicable only to women, while erotomania implies a pathological intensification of sexuality and eroticism, and can be found in both men as in women.

Some authors suggest that excess sexual impulse is the expression of a pseudohypersexuality. Apparently in these people intercourse can excite them but not satisfy them, and the excessive frequency of sexual contacts is an expression of the desire to force the unattainable satisfaction through renewed and growing attempts, or attempts with other couples and different circumstances “” … many neurotics, deprived of real satisfaction, insist again and again (and always in vain) on unloading through sexual activity the sexuality that they are not able to satisfy, thus producing the impression of a great genital vigor ” . This same opinion is held by Sigmund Freud.

Is it true that pheromones increase sexual desire?

Pheromones are produced by the apocrine glands of the armpit and the surroundings of the genital organs, from where they send signals that are received by the vemeronasal organ (OVN), which is inside the nose. This organ transmits these messages to the part of the brain that governs the most basic human sensations, such as joy, anger, love, hatred, sexual awakening, the increase of fertility and even contribute to the regulation of female menstrual cycles.

Pheromones are activated at puberty and, although both men and women produce male-type pheromones, only women secrete pheromones associated with copulation.


The Athena Institute (Penssylvania, USA) initiated interesting studies about the existence of human pheromones and the effects on the behavior of other human beings.

In some of her early studies they collected sweat from the armpits of women and men about 20 years of age, removing bacteria and odor, and using the extract. Studies since then have shown some amazing results.

In a study of young women, 36% of those exposed to pheromones had sex during the first three weeks of the study. Among those who received a placebo, only 11% had sex weekly. At the end of the study (14 weeks), 73% of those exposed to pheromones had sex every week, while those who received placebo remained at 11%.

To another group of 38 men, a solution of alcohol and pheromones was added to their regular perfume. No one knew what had been given to him. After eight weeks of using the colony, 47% of pheromone users said they had had more sex than usual, compared to only 9.5% of the placebo group.

In another study they sprayed the chair of a dentist’s office with that substance, while all the others were left untouched. It was observed that women sat much more often in that chair treated with pheromones. They did the same in several telephone booths, and found that women wanted to speak preferably in the one that was sprayed.

An Australian institution conducted an examination on 306 men who used pheromones. 90% of them said that this product had increased its attractiveness in women.

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