The number of sex partners is a hot topic, both in friendship and when it comes to new boyfriends, or any partners. But, how many sex partners are actually normal to have. Are there any kind of numbers on this? And do you know if you should reveal this to the new boyfriend?. These factors affect how many sex partners we have.
There are no surveys that say something about how many it’s normal to have sex with, but what we know is that it’s very big spread. There are large groups who have had sex with one to two people, and there are large groups who have had sex with 30 to 40 people. So we can say that it is normal with anything from 1 to 200 sex partners.
Although there are no numbers on how many we have sex with on average, there are still several factors that affect how many sex partners it is normal to have. One of these factors is how early we choose to establish ourselves. The sooner you establish yourself, the fewer sex partners will become, and the sooner you establish yourself, the more your partners will be happy.
How well we perceive having many sex partners can be influenced by what part of our life we are in. Among other things, it is considered more normal to have many different sex partners when you are young. In our youth it is more accepted to try out sexually and therefore there is also more room for having more partners, but when you grow older it is no longer as great acceptance to explore and therefore it is expected that you do not have the same amount of partners.
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Our personality affects
But the choices we take and the life phase we are in is not the only one that affects how many partners we perceive as usual. What kind of personality we have also plays an important role. For some people, it’s not natural to have many partners and they are much more keen to devote themselves to one, while others would rather live and explore as much as possible before they die.
Other personality traits that affect how many we have sex with are our self-esteem. That is, the thoughts we have about ourselves, and if you have positive thoughts about yourself, you also have a good self-image. If you have a good self-image, it’s also more normal to have more partners since it’s easier to go out and talk to people.
We also know that the number of sex partners varies in terms of gender, and gays generally have more sex partners than the hetero. It is important to point out that there is no goal to count the number of sexual partners, but rather to find out what suits you.
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It is not just our personality that affects what we think is acceptable in relation to the number of sex partners. The culture we grow up in is another aspect that affects what we perceive as normal. Have you grown up in a Christian environment where sex belongs to marriage, it would be more normal to have one partner than if you were raised in an environment where it is accepted to have sex even before marriage.
Our culture also affects what is seen as normal sexual behavior for men compared to women. Because, although according to Lindskog, there is no difference in how many partners each of the sexes has, there is still a difference in how society views it. This is related to our culture based on Christian values where there has been room for men to have sexuality, while women who have had sex have been seen as prostitutes.
It also affects how women and men talk about the number of sex partners they have had. If a man has had six sexual partners, he may say he has had ten, while a woman who has had sex with six or more says she has had sex with three or four.
Also read: Reduced sex drive in men
Men want the most sex partners in the relationship
If you should tell a new partner about how many people you have had sex with is always a difficult question, but you should not lie to your partner. We see that men would like to be the one who has had the most sex partners in the relationship, but they do not care much about how many partners the woman in the relationship has as long as it’s less than what he himself had.
For example, if the man has had 30 partners, he probably thinks she’s having sex with 25 partners. But if, on the other hand, he had sex with 12 partners and she 25, then there would have been too much. It’s a very childish attitude.
There is not only cultural influences that make men more sexual, but also that the evolutionary perspective plays a role. According to the experts, men have traditionally had the need to spread their genes and therefore they have had sex with more while women have been there to take care of the children, which has given them less need of having many sex partners. Men also have more testosterone in the body, and it’s important for sex happiness.
Should you be in doubt if you have had an abnormal number of sex partners, we have some uplifting news for you. It’s good for life and good to have had some sexual partners, for those who have only had one and two feel like a desire to have more when they get up in the 30’s.