Infidelity can destroy even the strongest relationship, leaving behind feelings of betrayal, guilt, and anger. If your partner has been unfaithful and you still want to save the relationship, there is a lot of work to be done. But it’s possible if you both want it. Everything you need to know about how to get past infidelity and trust your partner again.
To experience that one you’ve trusted and lived with for a long time has betrayal you, is comparable to the feeling that the safty and trust in your relationship is suddenly torn away. Despite the fact that most of us have zero tolerance to infidelity and believe that such a betrayal can not be forgiven, many people find that this is more complicated when they are first the situation.
If your partner has been unfaithful and you still want to try to save the relationship, you have a great job in front of you. But with the support of family, friends, a good therapist, and each other, it is possible for a couple to put the cloud of an affair behind them, and in most cases, emerge as a stronger couple.
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How is it really possible to put such a betrayal behind?
It is obviously possible, because many people do not end the relationship when they experience infidelity, even though they say they will do just that. Most people find that after all, there are many good reasons to continue the relationship. But it is clear that the relationship may be damaged for a long time, or perhaps forever.
Nothing rocks a person’s sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity. People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed. These are all of the initial emotions that go with the discovery of the betrayal, however, emotions change over time.
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Not impossible to get over it
Getting to know that your partner has been unfaithful is far from easy, but not impossible. If you want to get on after the breach of trust, you must try to understand how it could happen and decide if you can live with it from this. Is it understandable to you, if you had problems beforehand? This does not mean you should think it was fine, but after all you can live with it.
What you should not do is to “retake” or ever return to this event, such as when you need an argument. It is possible to forgive and it depends on how the situation has been. Fortunately, much can be solved through conversations and active work with the relationship. Many people choose to go to a professional counseling therapist for help in processing emotions, and, in particular, to repair the damage in the relationship. A conversation is never wasted, and it is hard to dare to show feelings and vulnerabilities in such a moment.
There’s almost nothing impossible, and if the will is there for both, there is always hope. But it may require both time, patience and, not least, hard work.
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Once unfaithful – always unfaithful?
If your partner has been unfaithful, you certainly know how difficult it can be to trust that it will not repeat the next time he is in town or on a trip with the boys, because it is said that infidelity often does not remain a one-time event.
You can never cope with being hurt again, regardless of who we are talking about, because it’s actually human to fail. We are just people and we are doing wrong. The most important thing we do is to dare to love and when you dare to love, you are vulnerable and in the risk group to be hurt. This is part of being a complete human being, both good and bad. You can choose to trust him again, but there is never any guarantee that you will never be hurt again.
Making big and small mistakes is therefore part of being a human being, and its important that we are getting new chances. Most people learn from their mistakes and take the consequences of this. One day we may need a new chance ourselves, and then it is good not to be met with such judgmental expressions.
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Define the infidelity as an exception
Many people put the infidelity behind by defining what happened as an “exception”, and think that this is not typical for their partner, or maybe it was not his fault and puts all the blame on who he was unfaithful with. Unfortunately, this is often a self-deception.
Although what happened might be an” exception “at one time, there are many people who has a bad tendency to come out for these” exceptions “over and over again. But by all means, it might be an exception when just your partner did it.